Listening with Your Heart, not Your Head - where to rent a mechanical bull
What is the biggest communication challenge for my clients?
The simple answer is listening.
It's hard for my clients to listen because their heads are blocking my way.
They try to get their message across and often ask me how to say what they want to say in the best way.
When we look at this, the next logical question comes to the surface: What is the other person talking about?
In answering this question, my clients say things like "they want me to do something I don't want to do" or "their values are different from mine, or "they don't care anything but their own agenda ".
These responses told me that my client did not listen attentively.
They are listening with their heads.
We can't hear it when our head blocks the way.
When we can't hear it, we can't say it just right.
Our minds would say something like this: "The other person is not interested in what I have to say," or "the other person only cares about their agenda, or" the other person doesn't like me.
Our minds will turn out the real information and re-explain what we hear.
Listening attentively requires a different way of listening.
The correct pattern includes "inviting" another person to speak.
This part of the model requires you to really listen.
Before you listen attentively, you have to decide what you want to hear from each other.
Whatever you are doing, you must stop and have your natural antenna help you.
Here are the steps you need to take to listen attentively: really focus on another person.
What mood did you hear?
How does the sound?
Lively, sad, angry?
Don't take what the other party says as personal.
The way information is given out.
Instead, ask the person what he or she really means.
Ask open, exploratory questions in order to better understand what may happen.
Close to each other.
Not trying to solve this problem.
Above that man.
Listen to where this person is.
If your friend is hurt, feel the damage with him.
Don't try to fix the damage.
If your teenage daughter is angry with you, don't defend yourself, but feel her anger.
Hear the message behind the word with your intuition.
If you feel something inside, you may be listening attentively.
Take risks and share your inner feelings.
"I think you're afraid of your boss.
Practice using metaphor to explain your intuition or explain how the other person feels.
Putting our feelings in a visual image helps us cope with it.
"As you speak, I keep seeing images of a deep, dark well.
Tell me how you did it.
Listening attentively requires practice.
The next time you get frustrated with how you communicate, don't get in the way and let your heart take over.
When your heart listens, you have a better chance to speak just right.