No Punching, No Running—Communicate! How to Resolve Conflict - where to rent a mechanical bull

What is the best way to deal with conflicts?
Your mom told you not to beat anyone. your dad said you didn't dare to run.
What options do you have when you enter the labor market and face conflict?
In real life, we can't beat our opponents.
If we do, we may be in custody.
Some of us do decide to "break even", which is often not the best option either.
If we "run around", we will kill ourselves. confidence.
I have a choice. Communicate.
Conflict occurs when two or more people occupy the same space at the same time, but only one space.
"As an intermediate child, I can relate to this definition.
No matter which space I want to occupy, one of my sisters claims to have it.
Complaining and punching did not change this reality.
As an adult, I can see the situation of conflict every day.
The space may not be a window seat, but it may be a window office.
Space may also be a philosophical point of view.
When two people Conflict in ideology, they have a spiritual space that only they can occupy.
How can we resolve conflicts through communication?
I have created a way to communicate, let's say it can help us.
This practical model can help you communicate from conflict.
The model that says it's just right has three components: three C changes.
Recognize that change is happening to you.
You can't change others.
Once you realize this very important fact, you will stop imposing your will on others.
All you want to do is say what you want to say, listen to each other's opinions with an open mind and move on.
Others must decide to change. Curiosity.
Enter the conflict with real interest and curiosity.
When you act as if you have all the answers in the conversation, how can you find out what the other person is thinking?
Use your natural curiosity to find out what motivates someone to do something or what motivates them to want something. Compassion.
By putting yourself in someone else's position, you will find the feeling of being that person.
What are they thinking?
What problems, values, and interests do they occupy their time?
You have to consider three components before deciding to have a conflict discussion.
What is the cost?
When you look at the cost, you will review what you will get through the conversation and what you may lose without a conversation.
You want to look at these issues realistically.
If you confront the boss because of differences, will you really lose your job?
Will your marriage end because you want your spouse to do more work at home?
How important is it for you to face this behavior directly?
Will it happen again if you don't face this behavior?
What is the restriction?
Where are you going to draw the line?
Before you have a conflict conversation, make sure you are clear about what you will accept and what you will not accept.
In other words, what concessions are you willing to make?
Where is your line?
What is the power supply?
Power has many shapes and sizes.
Just because you are a subordinate doesn't mean you have no power.
Think about the power that you have and the power that another person has.
How do you use your power?
How do you emphasize your assets?
How people react to you depends to a large extent on their personality style.
Here are some tips for dealing with four typical personality styles.
Aggressor: Command yourself.
Know what you want to say, say it quickly.
Don't defend when they attack.
Remember they attack everyone.
You have to have very clear limits in this case.
Persuader: allow them to speak.
Ask open questions and let them talk about the problem at hand.
In this case, you will show great curiosity.
Open your heart and listen. Fact-
Discoverer: give them facts and data that support your position.
Be as direct as the aggressor, but be clear and orderly.
In this case, you will want to make the power supply clear.
It will help if you can find a common goal
What you all want to accomplish
Audience: share your concerns openly.
They will listen to you.
Your job is to listen to them with compassion.
Show them the same compassion they show you.
If there is no solution, do not end the conflict by apologizing to each other.
Now that you have considered the decision points and have decided on the type of personality you are dealing with, you are prepared to have the right conversation with the three C in your mind.
But what do you say?
My next article will introduce the components of Say It through some examples.