bubble soccer for sale Funny Stories About Ice: What Goes Up Must Come Down

Now, it might really surprise everyone, but I'm not as elegant as I might be!It is hard to imagine that I am not a microcosm of the poetry movement, but as I have admitted many times, in my case it is more of a poultry in sport.The adventure began.I must also stress that the Queen of ice is still ruling, and I am still the king of the best land to dismount on the ice.--xa0Knowing that after so many years, I didn't lose the "touch" of the off-track behavior of comedy on ice, it was particularly great.
--xa0I can have my own show if I can find someone to support me --More than one way.The rise must fall....eventually.The first time I decided to perform on ice was in early 1980 when we just moved to Washington state.These are the two winters and the bleak things.
If it wasn't fun enough, we moved to Chicago, where I had another 5 dull winters and the temperature was baked with the chill in the warmth of minus 80 degrees.You think I'm used to ice and snow.But you're going to be wrong because I'm used to ice and snow and for some reason my tasks always seem to replace utility.Luckily we lived in the first year of the Seattle/Tacoma area and it was a record cold (who can guess I would have this happen?).
At that time, we had only one small tin can tuna car, and I drove my precious child's Chevrolet Monza all over the country.To avoid being a car sled on the road, I had to fill my suitcase with a bag of cement!Detroit is flat, ice barren land and frozen tundra, and there are many interesting features in the Pacific Northwest to enhance your winter experience, such as on a very steep hill, steep driveway with terraced stairsJust a few winter benefits.In any case, I was late for a very important date and in fact it was work.
I saw my two youngest children, and only our eldest son Jonathan got off somewhere on his way to work.I really didn't have a chance to think about the weather that morning when I was wearing clothes, as I often do, and I focused on the task at hand.Get dressed, find Jon, get out of the door, on my way.
Wearing casual pants, a sweater, I will alwaysI went out with a white coat and wooden clo.Having said that, Jon ran out of the door in front of me to defend me, and no alarm sounded.I checked to make sure the lights were out, the door was locked, and then stepped onto the porch.
That's all I remember.
The next thing I know is that I'm in the air.I have to stop here and point out that our front steps, although not as cement as in the picture, are wooden steps of terraces --In 3 groups, the last step ends with cement blocks.Okay -so I\'m up -I'm already on the plane.
I don't remember slapping!I remember seeing my arm caught by the railing (how convenient it was) and I remember thinking \ 'well...It really can't be as good as my shoulder...iiiii.....Good measurement pppppp.When I flew down Level 3 I thought it wouldn't be a good landing and I couldn't "stick" to this one.
Sure enough, I landed with a loud "plop, splat and ummmsh --Not on wooden stairs like I would like.Oh no...Mrs.Sports Wizards have to rush over to buy cement.I landed on my left and for a moment I was wondering if I was dead.
Or I had a serious broken hip of 5.
I'm really not sure if I make a sound when I gracefully get up and down the stairs from the porch, or if my son hears 9.Level 0 on the Richter scale because he usually doesn't fully understand what's going on with his mom!He was only about 8 years old at the time, and when I was lying there trying to assess the damage, he shot from near the edge of the house in the garage, screaming "Oh my God, Mom-you fell.No, Sherlock!Before I say something I will regret later, all I can think of is "what if the neighbor sees me struggling on the porch like a flying whale ?"?Without thinking much, I jumped up like Jack at once.
in-the-Despite the gnashing of teeth, "Hell not --I'm just messing around.....When I drag my leg behind me and close my arm to my body because I can't get it to move.Then, as I pushed the clutch open to the sunset, I screamed almost painfully.
Conveniently, I work in a hospital and when I drag my left leg over to support my arm as if it were broken they made me x-Shoot me for free.Nothing was broken, but my hips and knees have been bruised for weeks.By the way, it doesn't look good to wear a swimsuit in the gym!In fact, I'm not as stupid as I pretend to be.
If you go from 1980 to 2009, I will never run again --With ice, someone must have put on her mind hat....Or take off her wood clo!From that day on, I learned never to wear wood clo unless I'm in the Netherlands, but in particular, don't wear wood clo in cold weather unless you really want to go on.Fast forward to last year.As is typical in central Oregon, since we are a alpine desert climate, we can share the ice and snow.
Unfortunately, it was always more ice than snow, which disappointed me.One day in December, when our son took the bus back to the Seattle area, we just took him to the bus station.I am very sad, I am very depressed, it is a coincidence that I do not feel very good.
To cheer me up, Bob decided that we would say goodbye to Pat, then go to the store, buy ourselves a good bottle of wine, and then have a nice relaxing night at home.Sounds like something that got me back to square one.We stopped at the local store and drove into the driveway.
Although dusk is coming soon, it is still afternoon.I vaguely remember Bob saying, "be careful when you get off because it's cold.....?Of course, I blew it off and gave him a blindfold as if to say, "What does he think I am, a retarded ?"?Just like I don't know how to deal with a little bit of ice and snow?Again -This is the last thing I remember.
I think I was so smart, not on the driveway, I swear my husband was waxing with glue in the summer so winter could be a skating rink and I decided to set foot on the running board of the SUV.And she\'s off.........All I remember is that I put my feet on the running board, and then what I knew was that I shot in the driveway, and somehow I lay on my back in the snow and grabbed that bottle of wine like a football.I heard, "What the hell are you doing?\ ', The door opened and slammed, and next thing I know, Bob leaned on me, and of course, he actually yelled on my face!Didn't I tell you to be careful?What exactly do you want to do?I'm still not sure if he's mad at worrying about wine (it looks like Bob-I happened to save him), or if he was just angry that I shot from the car like a skydiving.
I bet he's just jealous that I can look so elegant that I don't even drink wine!!(Yeah -I have collected the Dignity I have left behind (I have, of course, been frantically looking around to see if any of my neighbors are out --There are a fewSo I waved helplessly from the ground )...Gritted his teeth and muttered to Bob, "What do you think I'm doing, Bob?I want to be some snow angel before I enter the house!!Do you think it works?All of this is Jewish (I'm not ).....I dragged my feet and while I wanted to drink the wine in the driveway, I stumbled into the garage and walked into the house.
....Oh, my back hurts!Oh yeah -About ice, so I don't want to waste too much time before perfecting another slip!The Snow Queen attacked again.This time, it's almost dusk (which seems to be a real problem) and some friends come to the new year.They have been reading a nearby house for sale and asked if we could pile it up in the car to see it.
Of course -why not?Again, we were in sub-zero weather and Bob started the checklist as we drove to these new homes.\'Audrey -Are you wearing your boots?Are you wearing gloves and hats?I answered patiently, "Yes, Dad --I even put on my underwear and brushed my teeth.To be honest, he 'd better ask, "are you wearing a helmet ".
...seriously.
Our friend was a little confused sitting in the back seat of the SUV, so of course they asked him to ask me what it was all about --Bob had to jokingly tell them all about the things I took off the runway of the SUV a week ago (oh my friend said --This explains the limp...do ya think?).Okay, get over it.I can joke, but that's enough.So we got to the house they wanted to see, and through the windshield you could see that everything around was just a piece of ice.I wasn't born yesterday though, guys, I now know what the dash will do when you're walking fast --It froze, there's no way, no I stepped on a little toe on that thing!So Bob stopped and I opened the door and instead of putting my feet on the running board, I deliberately took to the streets wearing boots I trusted.
That's all I remember!Are you kidding me??Okay -seriously -This is too unfair.I walked to the sidewalk. it was just a piece of ice.I tried in vain to catch myself on the door, but to my surprise the whole scene that fell down the stairs again raised the ugly head.I grabbed the door when I fell, I heard it-now-The familiar tear on my shoulder.
..I went down.
this time I just missed the running board with my head.I lay on the street and grabbed my arm on my backAll I could hear in the car was my girlfriend screaming "She fell, she fell ".....really -do ya think?Or did I just disappear so I could look under the car.
..maybe so!As I lay on the concrete frozen sidewalk, I turned my head to the right, and I saw a woman standing on the window in front of her, and the lights behind her set against her, you can also see the sunset reflected outside the window.I think "How cute "....Then I realized that the woman was lying in the street laughing at my head and turning it over.To be honest, I wanted to drive her away from where I was lying, but I decided that it might not be in my best interest if I needed an ambulance.
Sigh.
....The door is open and there are running feet --How can they run in the name of blazes while I lie flat on the ground?What the hell are you doing, Audrey?I can't believe this is always the problem!Don't he know now that there is really no good answer?!So they helped me.Everyone is worried that I hit my head.Even the giggle clown in the window opened her door and if I was OK, would shout out --\'sure -No, thanks to you, sweetheart!Hope you enjoyed the show!!Another night there were ice bags and heating pads, but nothing was damaged except my bloody pride.You will think, by this time, I am gone, am I?I wish I could say it was over, but I would be lucky then.
As my un-There will be luck when you least expect it....smile -!At least I can say that I made no more mistakes last year.on the ice.Actually, I stayed at home for the rest of the winter.
Not really!!This week, our first real Arctic explosion happened, and this week we experienced a single digit with only a little snow.Snow is what I dream of, it's what I crave, it's what I wait with my breath, because of course I have my Malos and my new sledge.I want to get out!!So, I was a little disappointed when the temperature plummeted this week, we had such a small amount of snow to show up, but I didn't give up!I was tied together when the first snowflake fell, determined to go out and take some pictures --.
It started snowing at 7: 30 or 8: 00 that night, and I grabbed Bob's proud and happy DSLR camera and headed to the deck to capture the elements of my dog.I stayed outside for about 5 minutes and when I realized I had the worst karma in the world, I was trying to get them involved in the snow in kangaroo wrestling.Oh, my God, you must be joking with me....I slipped....I haven't fully planned the Ice Factor on the deck yet and realized I lost my balance and I was holding the camera in my hand, the railing was only a few inches away from my hand and probably accidentally threw the camera away and I started focusing on keeping it upright.
I am like this.
I am like that.
I swear like a sailor, enough to get my dog's attention, they stopped to watch me slow and tried to correct my boat.For a while, I have to say that my boat is not correct, before I know, I wave my arms behind me like a windmill, and I can feel it even before I hit itTo my dismay, I looked up from the French door in time and saw my white knight, and my kind husband Bob was laughing!When I stumbled over the ice, I said a lot of things that I wouldn't apologize....But in the end, Ice won, I broke down-Of course, on my already bad left hip, my left wrist was blown up for good measurement (at least I didn't grab my arm!!).
A few minutes passed.
....The door finally opened and I heard him try not to laugh.Audrey, are you okay?At least he didn't say, "Audrey-What the hell are you doing?\'.....sigh."Of course I'm fine, Bob --You know, it's just a little preparation for a sled run.
I want to see what it feels like to bump my deep-fried ass into the deck on the ice so I can get ready for more tumbling!\' Yee-ha!Lucky for me, I seem to have a quarterback feel for what I hold.I rolled it up with the camera so the camera is fine....I wish I could say the same thing to my hips.
Whenever I drag my legs around, I hear this evil "tweet" from my husband around or behind me "...All I know is that he remembers how stupid I was when I was outside trying to catch myself and stop falling.At least I didn't fall off the railing.At least I broke nothing....but my pride.I decided to give in. just get a helmet.I think if I take risks outside, I should wear it at any time in winter.
I may need some knee pads, some slip pants, and some knee pads and elbow pads.In fact, I was wondering if they had a full body suit for winter.This may work.What I can say is that at least the other day when I fell on the deck.
...I don't have to worry about anyone (anyone else) seeing me as the only one seeing me, that's Bob.....I hope.Of course, I still don't believe that my dog won't laugh for it.They also seem to have a little sneaky on their faces, one day.
.....I 've decided to make Bob an outdoor viewfinder, though just to be on the safe side, or my second option is to put on a short off-road snowboard, so I'm always ready to be cool, and not just look like klutz!In fact, after watching the skating video, I don't know why I didn't think of it before!It will be a perfect sport for me as I have all these inherent elegance and balance on the ice.--xa0I'm in a hurry to buy skates now!